I'm at my usual
chillout-work place; it's the weekend; to both my left and right are pretty young ladies with their bevy of friendly male clusters taking photos of themselves via
iphone and handheld digital cameras. All is see is pose, snap, check. Pose, snap, check.. repeatedly for the past 20minutes. I don't think they've gotten a good picture of themselves yet. Or at least one which they feel makes them 'beautiful enough'
In this shallow shallow world of human beings we undeniably question this at several points in our lives.
Some (like me) find themselves thinking about it too often
and i suppose some of us choose to ignore the question out of pure confidence ...
you smut!*
hehe my jealousy speaking. Insecurities make up a big portion of my subconscious thoughts.
Our parents say to us as children *Beauty is in the eye of the beholder; you are perfect
nomatter what others may say*.. and then mom turns around 20 years later with some make-up she thinks will make your ache scared face decent.
LOLIt's such a vain thing to speak about. It's not a question you'll ever have an honest answer from anyone and everyone is probably going to give you the classic "
WHy of course you are!" ... if they are decent people with manners at least.
People who check their reflection every alternate minute of the day probably are the epitome of those who have issues with being beautiful enough. It could be because they feel it is all they are good for; or they just love to gawk at the perfect view each time. I've even seen some drivers transform their reverse dashboard mirrors into a permanent place to check their hair or apply lipstick!
Of course there are some who have made 'being physically beautiful' a career and a responsibility, models, actors.. etc..etc.. but we 'the others' find ourselves comparing our far from perfect selves with images we idolize in the media. It's a natural thing to do; we're only human to be envious and to want better for ourselves. We like to think that pretty girls and handsome men get their way and we don't because of the way they look; we want to be bitter at them and imagine them living the life....
i'm doing it right now.. being a bitter little fat person because it feels nice to have something to blame for all of the unhappy things about my life. *
LOLNomatter how much
peptalk we drive into our own heads; we will end up watching someone else stroll by..compare ourselves to them and think *crap*... i need to get taller heels, a hair cut like that.. or maybe buy a designer handbag so I can look cool like her. I SAY
PPPPFFFffffffttttt.
I can
pfft all I want now; but I know the next time he pats me on the tummy and snickers again; I'm going to think *
SHITT I need to stop eating food!! NOW!!*
I'm sure to him it's endearing.. and certainly not meant to be a hurtful gesture but I can't help but to beat myself up quietly about it. *
So dear.. if you're reading this.. it's a Hint* :D
I've put on lots of weight since my uni days in Sydney when i had plenty time to be at the gym; eat healthy regular meals and watch my binging. I can't exactly remember how
I've come to a shape like this. Things I'd like to forget.
Haha.. happy times..
Starting
tomorrow; I'm never eating again!
Hahahhaha.. no! that's stupid,
I'm ...er.. I don't know; I don't think anything is really going to happen
tomorrow.
Cause mayyybe, the truth is.. I do think I'm enough. Not beautiful enough for everything or everyone.. but I'm so lucky to have what I've got; good health... head full of hair, all bodily parts.. and well.. plenty meaty goodness to keep me warm and cuddly. With some decent clothes and good make-up I'd be more than presentable.
TADAH!
yay!
hehehe <3
.... they are STILL taking pictures of themselves! now they're actually doing it standing up! GOSH girls! take your
blackberrys and
iphones and get a room! *
LMAO* ridiculous. Phones are meant for communication, right now; it looks like it blocks out all possible communication.
I messily covered one of my triple tiered 10 inch cakes with lots and lots of buttercream, opened up my cookie bags... and it was jigsaw puzzle - mosaic time!! SOOO much fuN! the designs I could do were endless! I specially picked our favourite cookies of different lengths and colours to make things interesting! Mom, dad and sis were incredibly excited to help decorate too.
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