A part of me feels happy to be home; and another part of me feels like I do not belong.4 years in Sydney has been incredible; and I've taken a positive outlook to leaving all of that behind and moving on. It's now time for the 'next-step'... the preceding stages of my life... play time is over... it's time to face the music.
I was initially afraid of the change; but was strong willed enough to convince myself that change was for the better; that change was inevitable for improvement and change was the first step to progression. I had prepared myself mentally to adapt to my new future... but it seems that I've not done enough.
To tell you the truth; being here right NOW.... I am more afraid than ever. *laughs*
Mom and Dad have been very supportive with my returning home and have tried to settle me in as best they can. It feels like I'm 12 all over again! It's fun to be home; looking at things I recognize from the past; my room looks smaller than I remember; my tiny trinkets filled with memories scattered everywhere! I get this feeling of nostalgia everytime I come home after a long time. This time; there is no holiday... I'm back here for good.
So why is it that I'm afraid?
Well...to tell you the truth; it's because I feel awkward. I feel like everyone's staring at me; that I weigh 3 times the weight of an average girl here; that I sound 'weird' everytime I speak in English; that I dress so UN-Malaysian; that I'm so big and tall; that I can't speak a proper sentence of Cantonese(my native language) and that everyone around me thinks I'm some sort of outsider trying to be local. *laughs*
Thinking about it now; I don't think it's such a bad thing afterall; I'm different... I just need to learn to love the fact that I am. I'll need to give it a couple more days... run a few miles at the gym and I'll be sweet! I know overoptimism is a dangerous thing; but seriously, what's life without hope :P
Alright guys...its time to hit the road for me; I've got errands to run and I'm taking grandpa out for lunch!
Oh... before I forget; I've been receiving cake orders and requests from fellow Malaysians the past couple of months. I know I'm now home; but I'd like to give myself at least a couple of weeks to settle in and spend time with family. I've shipped my baking utensils and equipment and they will be arriving late January...so I probably won't be able to start work till then. Not to worry; I'll update everyone on what my plans are; and how I'll be spending the next couple of years :) Not to worry; in time.. Malaysia will have a slice of Su's Cake!
Lookout for more recipes in posts this weekend!
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23 comments:
hey suyin =)
welcome back to msia! hehehe. and i'll make sure to try out your pwetty cakes when im back next summer. takecare babe!
*hugs* ashiebee
welcome back :o)
you'll adjust just fine, don't worry. give it time :o)
Dear Su Yin,
I absolutely love your work. I have been an avid reader of your blog. :) It's tremendously inspiring. So glad to hear that you're back in Malaysia and I can't wait to place an order for a cake next year! Looking forward to the updates on cake-ordering.
Keep on going!
Hi SuYin
It's a big loss to Sydney now that you've gone home. Now I have to look for somewhere else if I ever wanted to order a cake, like what you did to Adam before.
You will be missed and surely, I know you will do good in Malaysia.
Keep up your good work and am hoping to see your bakery shop one day. Lemme know once you've decided to open and own one !
take care
- marini -
Welcome back home! It feels good to see someone so talented to be somewhere so near me. :) Love looking thru all your gorgeous cakes and look fwd to seeing more creations from you!
hey welcome back to Malaysia! i'm your long time serial lurker, now am glad you are back! :)~
welcome back su!
Welcome back. Take it easy girl. Don't give a damn about what other people's think :D
-zuha-
Hi Su,
Glad to hear you are back in town! Take it easy,dear! Just hang in there you'll be okay!
Cant wait to have some of your 'great creations'! Till then... have fun back home!
Hey Su! I totally understand how you're feeling right now. I feel that way every time I visit home (Indonesia) for the holidays. I'm anticipating to return to Asia after grad school here in Chicago. I suppose I'm both dreading and looking forward to it at the same time time. Sighs...
You could just go out in a fish costume and get it over with.
There are no surprises after that.
su yin..don worrie darling..we all noe wut msia can be like.but u noe wut it doenst matter ur talent and personality outshines it all and besides theyre idiots...just because we dont fit into a certain mold it makes us an outcast but i noe and all ur freinds and family noe who u are ..and thats wut that matters most at the end of the day..u noe u can always talk to me if u need to ..i miss u heaps babe..the house is not the same without u..lots of love hugs n kisses pinky
the past is always more heroic than the here and now... you will be missed but never forgotten suyin... not jus me but every1 will miss u and every1 is wishing the best! - Johyun
Bah... I still love you regardless.
My love is here for you to take and go.
hang in there Su Yin! U'd do fine~ give it a bit of time yea...
Here's a hug to help u feel better... dont worry! everything'd be fine ^^
Hey Su Yin,
Oh...I so know how your feeling! Im living in Japan. Originally from NZ and I am big-blonde-and very NON Japanese.....since coming to Japan I feel the same as you are feeling now. It def gets me down....But I say its much better to be outside the square than in it!
Keep up the cake business....you got talent like Ive never seen before....
And your beautiful dont compare yourself to anyone else....your an international inspirational chick!
all the best!
Brooke
who cares bout wut ppl think, we luv u as u are my dear...i'm so glad u're home!
cant wait to meet up again...
luv loads
mwahhhhh
Welcome back, dear! I think part of you will always miss Australia (just like myself) but like the rest of us, you'll either adjust OR go back again. :P
Looking forward to see more goodies from you next year!
- Mei (http://thescarfer.net)
Su,
Keep up the awesome work on ur cakes and such! And also keep up this great blog... we love to hear everything about your cooking journey back at home! Although it's difficult to adjust after being away form home for so long, it's great to be in the warmth of our family again. Although I've been overseas for 8 yrs, part of me will always miss M'sia despite the awkwardness everytime I go home. To me, home is where my family is. Cheer up! :)
Welcome Back Su!
*tremendous big hugs*
Take your time girl, who cares what people think! Haha.
I'm ready to order some of your yummies as soon as you are ready to make 'em :)
Been drooling over your blog since the 1st day I came across it. I can't believe I will be able to actually taste it! Yippee!
It would be an honor to meet you in person *nods*
Take Care!
Hi Suyin,
i am sure you have mixed feelings coming back home to asia. i came back to singapore almost 4 years ago and i still tell people it took me 5 years to get used to living back home:P...
Some pros is that the ironing is taken cared of hehehe.
I felt the same way too coming back..everyone wears extra super small and suddenly an aussie size 10 is LARGE!!! well guess what? if you decide to go out to the horrible corporate world ...all the stress and overtime will make you lose the pounds in no time...i lost 10kg with 1/2 year without excercise...
So what are your plans? Enjoying the Xmas festivities? Planning to start your own bakery? :)
all the best and look forward to reading more entries!
warmest
Shan
Everyone has been so supportive...*sigh* i wouldnt know what I'd be without you guys. It really means so much to me that I have people with me who share my feelings and are so kind with encouraging remarks. LOve you ALL! :)
hi, just stumbled upon yr blog.
i totally understand how you feel! it's been 3 months since i've returned home... it takes time to settle down and fit into a whole new life back home...
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