June 12, 2012

"Where's your friend?" he asks...

"Well she's right here"... as I point at the empty seat right in front of me. I frown a little as he laughs a little from the silliness of my remark.
It's Denise's chair. Several times a night, we sit by this window; al fresco-Esq with just a touch of air conditioning; but tonight no one's around to share my plate of indulgent late supper or our favourite bottle of Frescobaldi remole.  It's not the same as I run through Delectable events of the day with myself and strike away at my to-do list without having Dee smile to herself as she reads books and browses her pinning crap all over her Pinterest! Some days we find ourselves nonchalantly wasting away our evening to tiramisu, a bottle of wine and laughing about boys like teenage girls.
I truly believe in everyone's heart; there are little compartments we place special people we connect with inside. They are irreplaceable and no matter how far away they may go or be in the world nothing replaces the fact that there will always be a part of you they will have. Each time I feel I've given away all those little compartments to special friends, I meet someone new! and voila!~ I make a new 'compartment' for them! *teehee... I either have a very big heart; or I've started to make compartments in my stomach too! LOL
Dee has taken about more than a week off from work to be free from the cake world and to frolic about in ocean waters... where I know and accept is where she belongs. Her toes in the sand, wavy locks in the clean mountain breeze and endless mugs of long island ice tea! hehe
sigh... 10 days feels like months. *pout*

There's not much about me that she doesn't understand or know... if she hasn't figured it out; I've probably already told her.. we share love for the same people, the sun, the beach, wine, peanut butter, broccoli and potatoes. I bet she knows I miss her right now. LOL she will probably say "It's not like i'm never coming back~" We even share the same thoughts.

Dee asked me the other day... why don't I write anymore... on my blog; why don't I write how I feel or my personal words on the things I create. I couldn't explain myself verbally and I guess from my stuttering and clumsy rambling she understood why. I've become afraid of having my negativity and self consciousness be made permanently published online. Personally I've been going through a rough phase of my life, high's and low's are natural I understand... but I didn't want it to affect my work or seem unprofessional at my job. Tooting my own horn in writing isn't exactly my idea of convincing myself I've made an excellent cake. I have to feel it to speak or write about it. My dexterous and graceful fingers that sing from my heart have recently learnt to sing without a heart that makes music... and only a friend can show you something like that. That is okay sometimes to not beat yourself up over not feeling each and every emotion that comes from work. She's my reassurance and the one who has my back when I need to be inspired; she's brutally honest about the quality of my work and with that I know she cares.


Point is.. I miss her. I wish she'd come home soon. 

4 comments:

Company said...

It is pretty normal that you miss her, but it is really a true fact that you have created an amazing cake. Best wishes!

bella said...

that is the cutest snoopy cake i have ever seen!

Shirley Theresia said...

Nice to read posting with personal touch like this. Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Your blog is a revelation. Heartfelt, real, inspiring. I got here through searching for cake ideas for my daughter's first birthday. What a nice surprise. Sally from Sydney.