September 13, 2009

I've lost the love of my life; but i'm not ready to give up on love just yet

Out back in a dark and crowded club; I eyed a cute Asian b-boy in a big white tee. He looked right at me and turned away. I thought to myself AH hah! I love Challenges!

It's always been that way with us since the 3 years that we've decided to share something special together. The distance and the growing apart from each other has been inevitable with how busy I've been getting at Delectable and all sorts of other work related agenda. We're 2 complete strangers in 2 separate worlds; being together with mutual respect for each other. Unfortunately, my happy ending is no more.
I'm now a full year older; making me exactly 24 years of age in the last 12 hours; but I feel way more than a mere 24. I've left him behind and have expected too much from a young boy who just wants to live his youth and freedom. I miss times when we shared special memories; but i'm not the type to live in the past. I'm all for moving on.. for progress and for betterment. He's all for history, honor and friendship. That's what makes him who he is; but that's what tore us apart. He believes
'It's not about where you are, rather who you are surrounded by that matters most.'
...but I beg to differ. It's not about where or who you are surrounded by; it's how you carry yourself as an individual entity in every situation or circle of people which matters the most.
He always said;
"Love is all you need"
Well.. I've convinced him otherwise and now I guess it's backfired on me! haha I'm not going to keep holding on to something which wants to give up on this.

I probably wont forget this birthday for the rest of my life.. but I want this post to be a reminder to me to never again think that the best things in my life will always be there and true. He said he'd love me forever; and would go to the ends of the earth for me... but I guess that place is here and forever ends now as I should have guessed.
I live for today; I strive for tomorrow and dream for the future; and I've always had that little picture perfect family of the both of us in those dreams.. i'd be lying if I said I wasn't upset. Should have listened to sis and mom when they told me to fight for what I cared for; to try harder when I know I should.
Well, the deed is done; I can't possibly make beautiful cakes with this current frame of mind.. i'll just tie brownie ribbons instead. Haha
I wish to wake up the next morning to rainbows or sunshine.
It will be another day... a day without him; but it will be a good day.
I just know it.
I'm not ready to give up on my dreams of us just yet... but that day will come when I'm strong again.
I could never make ice-cream without thinking of all those happy times it's brought me.

50 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh no.. what happened?? Did you break up with your JO?

Cheer up... and hope that you are alright girl...

Lila said...

big hugs 4 u....
U R the best

Jennyvi said...

hugging it out for you Su! i'm sure everything will be okay and you will be able to ride this out. even the sweet one get the blues. life goes on. xoxo!

Here comes the sun little darling..

Anonymous said...

Dear Su

I'm so sorry to hear about your breakup.

I believe the road ahead of you is very bright and full..another person who deserve you will come along.

You have grown and he hasn't... it's always the case.

You will look back on this day years later and say " I'm glad I did what I did"

Your life is promising and full of beauty.

Chin up and I pray that the hurt will go away ASAP.

Eat more chocolate.. on a lighter side = )

Take care.
Chris

Cindy Khor said...

oh dear, stay tough, break up times are hard, and cry or talk to someone if you must, let it all out and i'm sure you'll be back on track again... cuz you are the "tau keh" of delectable, the most successful girl i'd ever met/read ^__^

La Table De Nana said...

Oh my gosh you are such a treasure.. I bet he will perhaps change his mind:) And be back with you..
You will be snapped up always for the rest of your life!
Talented..creative..nice ..so many fabulous attributes all tucked into a mere 24 years.
I will something no one likes to hear..but trust me..you have so many beautiful experiences ahead for you~

All the joy you bring to people w/ your art..will come back to you always.


I am wishing you a very good year this year..~ Success and Happiness..It can be done:)

ashieBee said...

**Hugs**

Fui said...

I do believe you still have many supporters from all over the world that love you~!

wish you cherish always although sometimes upset is unavoidable.

feliciapeh said...

so sad to read about this... hope you will be strong to overcome this turmoil of emotions, and continue to make lovely cakes to bless people around you. Everything happened for a purpose, and this could be a stepping stone to make you stronger, wiser, and to prepare you for something bigger and better in the future!

=)

Taylor Murphy said...

This same thing happened to me on Friday.

Anonymous said...

I'm very sorry to read this, hope you are feeling alright. Cheer up Su.

You are young, talented and beautiful, there are still tons of single men out there for you.
Take care!!
Dewi XXX

Quinn said...

Tomorrow is always a better day and I always look forward and not think about the unhappy past. Cheer up and you'll realize you've already move on and he's long gone before you knew it.

n i l e e y said...

*hugs*

Chris said...

You have such a matured outlook at this breakup. Good for u! It's another lesson in life here and it will make u stronger and a better person. Don't give in to regrets and self-pity(u didn't sound like u did anyway). At least he didn't give u the "let's be friends" load of crap. It doesn't work when the relationship was such a deep one. Maybe in 10years u can look back and laugh and maybe be friends, otherwise, move on, live your life, have oodles of fun and be good to yourself! U deserve it@

Jo Serwey said...

Be strong!!! Hope to meet u in person when i get back to KL! :)

IceSpirit aka Justin said...

We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.

Jennywenny said...

I'm sorry Su, long distance love is a difficult business. I hope you eventually find someone closer to home. 'It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all'

Anonymous said...

**Hugs**, you'll be alright Su

cookingpractice said...

everything has a reason, you will find a TRUE love! Cheer up!

Lingzie said...

oh su! i don't really know you personally, since i'm just another one of your fans, but... HUGS!!!

Hany said...

I'm so sorry to hear about that, Su. :-(

But keep in mind that everything happens for a reason and what doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger.

Cia yo! You're a spectacular and very mature woman. I'm sure you'll make it through this and be 10x better and stronger than you currently are.

>Hugs<

Anonymous said...

Su.....
Don't go the way life takes you,
Take the life the way you are.
You are such a brave girl. I like the way you expressed your feeling in your writing....
Luv,
Judy

Anonymous said...

same thing happened to me in the past week. 5 and a half years gone by... my best friend, and then we grew apart... i wish i had my own delectable to keep me busy and focus on other things.

Bean Sprout's Cafe said...

Everything will be fine... Be strong !

June Art Studio said...

Hi Su yin,
Forget about the pass, you ve more future ahead, why waste time with this type of Hallyu (Korean soap opera) different culture. Blessing in disguise. GOD will bless you with a nice and charming guy soon. Work harder the reward is there, you will be famous.
Bye

Cocorue said...

you WILL be fine as i believe you're stronger than you think.....

it's always hard when you love so deeply but time will make it easier.....remember the good times and learn from the 'not so good ones'.....and DON'T ever regret

chikisses
coco and her mumster (oh yes, you wouldn't dare forget us......lol)

The trekker, agnes said...

hugs, hugs Su, love you, just love you the way you are, hugs..and more hugs.....

Sheryl said...

Stays positive :)

When 1 door closes, you're free to look for the next better door! :)
It's true for me...

Jun said...

i know u r strong and hope u don't look back... cheer up.

mariana..sweet dreams said...

the things happen for reasons that sometimes we do not understand … but whichever people watch from very far worries about you and she sends love to you. .and you are inspiration of many ..adding me :) … with love...hugs
mariana

theadams said...

Dear Su,

Just hang in there, time heals!

LifeBloom said...

Dear Su
My heart goes out to you and am heartened that you have chosen the approach you have..Thumbs up :D. Everything happens for a reason. And this experience is just another episode which will make you a better person (you are already a beautiful one - inside & out!)

Maizura

jokoo said...

*hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggssssssssssssssssssssss*


*puppy eyes*

Anonymous said...

It's proved that ur long distance love n ur business is the same class?

HOPE U CAN BEAR IT.

Anonymous said...

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do, are in harmony. You will find another who will love you just the way you are and who will share your dreams with you.

Cheer up Su, lots of hugs to you.

Lily

qwazymonkey said...

I'm no good with consoling words, but here's what I can say to you: One day you'll look back at this day and have a smile on your face. For you'll learn that life (with all its obstacles) can only get better from here forth. This birthday, I'll wish that the best of yesterdays be the worst of all your tomorrows.

Stay strong girl.

Anonymous said...

Good on you girl. You are doing well. The bright future is ahead of you.

Alice said...

Believe me, my dear if a man loves you, no matter how far, how long, he will always wait for you and love you. If not, would be advisable to leave him and move on. If I will you, I wouldn't worry, you have lots of friends and family members who loves you far more. You also have lots of time ahead of you to love again. I am sure you will... Keep your chin up...

All the best

Sal said...

Time heals all wounds of the heart Miss Delectable. xx

Make sure you start focusing on doing one thing for yourself each day that puts a big smile on that dial.

You have a bright, successful, happy future ahead of you.

Anonymous said...

my hugs for you *hug*

i understand exactly how you feel. if he's yours, you will be together again... mine did. And it probably is better!

Saryn said...

Sorry to hear about your breakup.
That is just life isn't it. One does not appreciate the sweetness as much without having gone through the bitterness.

You will be alright, hugz!

Hooi Ming said...

so sorry.Hang on there!Time will heal.

Fergster said...

((HUGS)) <3 You!
Stay strong and keep positive.

A. Nelson said...

Oh, Su. I am so sad your heart is hurting. =( *sending e-hugs*

Kassy said...

Be strong girlie. xoxox

Vivian said...

Hi Su
Remember the old saying? "Just let him go, if he's yours, he'll return to you one day...". Distance can be a strain to a relationship but it can also stregthen the relationship. If your relationship cannot stand the test of time then it's better to end now and move on. Do be strong & cherish the memories...

Anonymous said...

oh su... my thots are with you.

Sheryl said...

*hugzzz* i'm a HUGE fan, and darling, chins up! you're a beautiful and aspiring jewel.
YOU DESERVE MUCH BETTER! in just a matter of time ;)
muakx!

Su-Yin -Décorateur said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Su-Yin -Décorateur said...

I couldnt help but to shed a tear of appreciation for everyone who had wrote to me kind words and comments here, my email, twitter, fb, everywhere! to those who came by to the store.. i am so very extremely touched to know i'm loved beyond anything i can imagine.
To be completely honest; i've been scared very much by the whole ordeal but it's definitely something i've decided is destined to happen for a reason; and i'm making the best of it everyday now.
Life goes on with the business and my cakes... but I really do appreciate all the advice, prayers and sweet gestures from everyone. Thank you so much all for holding my hand when I needed it the most. XOXO.