August 31, 2006

Beginning of Spring.

It's time to bloom.
For everything else but me at least.... *sigh* It's been periods of gloom for me instead. I woke up this morning to a bright blue sky, pretty petals and refreshing soft morning breeze. It should have made the start of my day a perfect one.... but I was too engrossed with life's responsibilities and obligations to try to force a smile on my face. The thought was disturbing, considering how I'm possibly the most postitive person I know. Today...the glass is half empty!.. The past week has not been kind to me...or should I say; I have not been kind to myself the past week. I've loaded upon myself unnecessary amounts of stress and made a bad schedule of daily tasks and activities without taking into account the limitations of my capability to multitask. I've over-estimated myself, and I guess it's time to pull-back......breathe...sit..waste time...and type an entry on my blog; not because I "HAVE-to-put-up-a-food-related-blog-entry-daily"....but just because it makes me happy. Cooking everyday has always been something fun, till recently; when I began to feel I didn't have time to put enough effort into the daily meals I made. I've been too occupied with work from uni, catering jobs and the Malaysia Fest stall on Sunday that I've forgotten to put "REST/PLAY" as an activity in my schedule-*Which I've ripped up a couple minutes ago.
I kept thinking about my personal issue with needing everything "perfect" and I guess it's what drives me insanely "busy". I could always bludge and take a couple less important details for granted....but I always seem to get the priorities wrong. *sigh* All the unnecessary stress I've been going through has been wearing me out; and has led to many mishaps and upsetting events. I guess I shouldn't keep going on about how 'crap' my entire day has been and admire the pretty things around me instead. Here were a couple of photographs I took on the way to Uni this morning as I thought about how beautiful but unappreciated the beginning of spring can be; and how I sometimes feel that way too.
The last week has been testing my true "Passion" for cooking and baking; but unfortunately, Uni work had to come first...and this 'passion' of mine has been the source of my many restless nights and big, round eye-bags. Cooking is still my favourite thing in the world....but it just isn't as much fun anymore when you HAVE to do it even when you know you CANT!
....So please don't ask me
"Hey Su YiN!.....Why didn't you cook??WHere's the recipe for today??"...I'll have to just tell you; I'm;...there is none.. *smile*


locura said...

Well, everyone needs their own alone time. Even from the things they love doing. I guess I'll be checking up in two weeks time. (unless they have a computer where I'm going. :D) Chin up, and don't wear yourself out! see ya soon!

panda said...

hey girl!
I'm new to your blog but just wanted to say, keep your head up and the bad times will pass. I've had times when I've felt exactly the same as you, where you feel the things you are involved in are just controlling you. Life's probably too short for you to let that happen. I love reading your blog so don't give that up!

babe_kl said...

hey su yin, try to blog for yourself first and not others ;-) relax girl.

Baking Fairy said...

I felt like that too! After a while I just felt that even if I didn't bake those cookies, I could just go buy them. Doesn't help that I had tons of personal problems as well. Stopped for a couple of weeks but now I'm up and running again - which I'm sure you would too. Don't stress and hope you recover soon. :)

Sing Yee said...

seriously u rock!!!! ur food drools meeeeeeee. wohooo!

jiahui said...

hey girlie
i think i know how you feel...i love to bake, and i used to bake at least twice a week. but all the tutorials and projects in uni are getting really heavy, plus some personal problems i have, and how expensive those ingredients are, sorta made me decided to 'quit' baking(i'm actually addicted to baking, i guess you know wad i mean).

anyways, wad i wanna say is, cheer up and like wad babe_kl said, blog for yourself and not for others. wad's most impt is you're happy yea?

chocolatesuze said...

heeeey dude sorry to hear youre having a rough time maybe a break is what you need (and a heapload of chocolate!)